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Jennerz Your God
January - Febuary 2004
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This is January - March


I know it says "Febuary" but I didnt do anything in Feb, so get over it. Thats right, I hybernated! Not like its a month worth being awake for is it?!? Or, more accuraty, I forgot to come on this site.

Tuesday, 13th of January, 2004
Ok, I'd best write in this because Lou seems to believe that Im neglecting my duties as "Local Bored Person", and therefore not writing on my site. You must have failed to see my new page about "GEEK CLUB".
 Anywho, life goes of for those of us with, erm, lives. How much of a slap in the face is this?! Number 1) i was made to sit with Charlie the douchbag! Number 2) I never thought a little hatemail could do so much harm(!) AAANNNDDDDD NUMBER BASTRD 3, the "Top 50 British Sitcoms" was a complete and total FARCE!!!!! OK, in the top 5 should be Bottom (Rik,Ade), Red Dwarf (Craig, Chris etc), Blackadder (Rowan, Tony etc), Pheonix Nights (Peter, Dave etc) and The Young Ones (Rik and Ade again). WELL A BIG 'THANK YOU' TO THE TWATS OF THE BRITISH PUBLIC! There was once a time when I could say I was proud of my nation (thats actually a lie but it does make it seem a bit more exciting)  but now, NOW we're nothing more than a nation of complete fools, driven by reality TV and not even botering with comedy anymore. To you lot, comedy is when someone falls over. Oh har-de-har(!) or would you prefur "Whats your name" "dont tell him Pike". OH HA HA HA(!!!!!!) What in the name of satans fetid foreskin is all THAT about! See my "Comedy Farce" page for more info. Also, I may put on a petition for people to sign and agree with me. I may not, but you never know.
 So, with all that said-and-done, i'd best be off. Ohh, but I'd best say "HAHA TO YOU ALL! WE ARE THE GREATEST EVER PRANKSTERS!" (Lauren knows.......)
 "have a nice......day?" - Richie

Friday, 5th of March, 2004
 WHEY THE LADS! HADDAWAY AND D'SHITE! JENNERZ IS BACK! AND SHES FULL OF BOTTOM FRENZY........

Thursday, 11th of March, 2004
 Cummon kids (thats not a demand by the way eeew your minds!!!!) No, what I mean is how many of you truly cool dudesome groove-buddies have heard "Bad News", by the band "Bad News"? Hilarious stuff!
 Anyways my little children of the night, Jennerz is back, after a long time away from here. I can only offer my appologies for almost giving up on my "Worlds Most Bored Person" status (i was promoted by Louise). Anyways, let me tell you about a little something called TV....
 Its kept me happy for a few weeks now, espesh as I have been watching none-stop Bottom, The Young Ones, Dangerous Brothers, Filthy Rich and Catflap, Comic Strip etc. For those of you out there who are hard and street and cool enough to know what im on about, you lot probably either consist of:
A) Claudia
or B) Anyone whos had to listen to me praise it for the last few weeks, more or less none-bloody-stop.
 So, what have we learnt today?
1) Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson are fab, and anyone who disagrees will suffer death by "Ordinary House-Hold Blender". And thats painful. Either that or torture by ironing!
2) Write on the wall when Lou says, or your gonna get a head full of red marker pen!

Wednesday, 17th of March 2004
Mercredi, dix-sept mars, 2004
SAINT PATRICKS DAY:
 Its St Paddys day, so i hope you'll all be good little Jennerlings and go out and get pissed. They were handing out Guiness in town today! How unfair! Not that it was free, but I was in school at this point! How come booze is free, but im not. FACISTS!
 Anywho, this God Logs getting pretty long (Oo-er), but thats probably because Im such a strange and interesting person. Or rather, not. Blah de blah de blah, i really don't know what to say. Im writing because Louise is threatening to divorce me if I don't. Well she never said that, but she might do that, and Im scared of her...
 Oh yeah, right. Shame on Dom! Right, she spent an age cramming (ooer, again!) for this RE test, and got an A*. Round of appluse, well done, pat on the back etc. But then, Jennerz Your God decided to be stupid and not revise. But ha! I got an A* too! Muhahahaa!
 Then again, I did have an advantage, seeing as the test was for RE, therefore about me!
 I'll finish with a nice St Paddys day joke: There was an Englishman, and irishman and a Scottishman....
 Oh no, wait. faaar to predictable. Well, put it this way, the irishman ends up looking thick (Suprised?)
Ok, how about this one: How come Africa was chosen to be "built" over beautiful diamonds, Iraq built over expensive oil and Ireland built over dumb ol' potatoes?!
  Because Ireland chose where to build first!
 Not really funny, but its short, basically it means the irish are thick...again. Hee hee hee.

Friday, 19th of March, 2004
 Today is a day that will go down in history. Yes, it is the day that the NPP was founded by Dom (President) and Jennerz Your God! The NPP is the national Peach Protest, check out the new page to get more info on venues, exclusive interviews and pictures of protests. Incredably fruity, I trust you'll agree!
 PS: I love ???? so ha. And Dom loves Greg and Matt. We both love peaches.

Sunday, 21st of March, 2004
 Oh my God how drunk was/ am I?! On Friday, when Dom was round, I got a little too tipsy and decided to make a page about Peaches?!
 "What a beautiful day! Just the usual dilema! Shall I get drunk now or... shall I get VERY drunk now. Or am I drunk already? I'd better have a little drink to think about it..."
 Witism from Eddie Hitler there. Im bored, and am living up to my "Worlds Most Bored Person" title. Bordey bloody bored. I know! I'll update my website! Ah wait, im already doing that. Errm... What to do what to do.
 I'll do something mega fun! Liiike:
 Tell you lot my new email address!
If you wanna get in touch with jennerz Your God, to confess your sins or just to praise, then go ahead and email me at
Megawatt_winged_avenger@hotmail.com! Happy days!

Sunday, 28th of March, 2004
 I feel like death warmed up.... but colder. yes my children, gods can get ill too. Im also megamegamegamegaMEGA annoyed at all of you here in Britain. Well, those of you that voted against Blackadder last night. YOU BASTARDS! Sorry, I am your god and I should love you all, but Blackadder is one of the most hilarious programmes ever created. if we were voting for THE best sitcom, we'd have Bottom in the top ten, but oooooh no! Some madly deranged half-wits decided to put Bottom at number 45! Im so mad i could write to my MP.... But I don't have one, so im going to write to the lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen
 "Dear Mr Echo.........."
Also, are people over the age of 10 not alllowed to have fun anymore? Apparently not. For Muffin The Mule is for those under said age. So what happens when a group of seven 14 and 15 year olds decided to have a ride? We got thrown out of the fucking shop! Then when we sneakily got back in, some mad old crone complained about us and we had to leg it again! Sacré bloody bleu!
 But then we were at Corp (where all the hard, street and cool people hang out) and this 6 foot TOSSFACE decided to start on Elias for NO REASON, like the total arse brain from hell. Thinks hes right hard 'coz hes about 20 and hangs out with 16 year olds. What a clown! he can just get to soddery 'coz me and Maz have a plan.... and it involves knuckle dusters and spikey shoes....
 Anyways, I am no longer bored so i wont rant this bollocks at you. But all of yee that voted for "Only Fools And Horses"..... Jennerz is watching you... BE AFRAID!

Saturday, April the 3rd, 2004
Its now the school holidays, and to celebrate, lauren threw and awsome part-ay! And I got so fucking hammered it was unbelivable! Basically, I fell over about 100 times, and once infront of James' house! I remember shouting "I LOVE YOU YOU BASTARD!" at the house too. Oh lord!
Bloody nora my head! What did i drink last night!? My head feels like theres a Frenchman living in it! And Lib shouted "PENIS!" at laurens dad, without knowing it was him. Good start Lib!
And I took lauren a present, a traffic cone and a laundry basket that I'd found. Great!
Anyways, my advice is this: The best thing for a hangover is drinking heavily the night before! SO TAKE HEED!

Monday, April the 5th, 2004
+ Kurt Cobain +
Hello my children. It is I, a very sad, a very depressed Jennerz Your God. But there is a sliver lining to this dark cloud.... Oh wait, no there isnt!
But there is one good thing, Lauren (and Lynn, bless her) are making me smile. Laurens turned into a gourmet chef (well, able to fetch chocalate bars and milk, clever girl).
But there is a dark cloud in Jennerz skies. Yes dearest ones. Jennerz is in love, and with love comes pain and trouble. Well, its enivatable isnt it. Confound 95% of the population of males! The 5% are the cool guys, such as Ja Tom and Sam Richardson (and Rik and Ade are decent too, bless them)
Hey ho, who cares its only life isnt it?! Oh and by the way, I did Louise a Tribute Page. Bless her!

Monday, 12th of April, 2004
ooh, I just remembered its Katie's birthday. Should she read this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And also, should I forget to mention it later, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CLAIRE FOR NEXT SATURDAY!
And you know what that means. Yes, its exactly 2 months today until my 15th birthday. Whoop-de-frickety-doo(!)
WHAT! im still only 14?! I know, I know. Ive been making this site for a few months now, and I must say its rather good isnt it?! Yes, it is. And Im rather mature and cool and seem so much older than 14.... ok, maybe not!
But remember my litte Jennerlings, I HATE birthdays. Well, my own. So please don't mention it to me, you have been warned. Plus, its on a Saturday, so all I want is for me to be able to go to Corp and for the DJ to play "Ace Of Spades" by Motorhead. That is all. ooh and get hammered. Not on vodka though! ooh, vodka frenzy! Not fun! i drank so much vodka yesterday and got bladdered and sick.
("It went everywhere didnt it!" - Sir Eddie Hitler).
When im in a situation like this, I always remember what Kevin Turvey once said. "I hate being sick, especially in the fridge. I mean, things last longer in there don't they! And I hate being sick on telly...... because it gets down the back and makes the picture go all wibbley. And it makes all the programmes stink... Even 'FAME'!"
Anywho, less of that. Im off to get a life. Shock horror. Anywho, I just have to say, Im going now. yeah, thats what i was going to say.... Oh, and i have to say look at Claudias NEW tribute Page!
Theres nothing else to say, but keep your trousers on, look after yourself, and THIS IS THE AAAAGE..... Of the train! (Vicz gets it!!!!)

Tuesday, 13th of April, 2004
Ive been re-aranging my site, and I thought I should let you all know. Ive got so many pages on this site now, about 47. But Ive deleted most of them, and Ive put most of the onto sub-folders and all that...erm... ruhbarb. So It looks like ive spend November 2003 until April 2004 doing just 5 pages, when I havnt so ner-ner-ner! Ive got so many pages, Im so special anrnt I. Well, "Special" is one word....
Ok, so Jennerz Your God is pissed off again. And WHY?! BECAUSE I CAN BE! "Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed is just making me wanna scream the corus, but I can't be arsed 'coz Im too pissed off and upset.
Why am I upset? Lauren knows why, as does Tom. Im so anoyed.
Oh, and also, I woke up this morning/ afternoon with a really bad ringing sound in my ears, and at first i thought "oh no, I must have banged my face on the fridge door again last night, and thats whats caused this ringing sound!"
But then the ringing carried on, and it turned into a sort of thumping. I just thought that it was Rik doing a bit of reading, but then I realised it was someone at the door. So I thought "oh no, not the front door again!"
And I was right because it was the back door!
Ive been watching Kevin Turvey too much! Ok, the REAL reason that my head hurts is because poor little Jennerz Your God has an ear infection, and now I can't listen to music very loud. But Im PISSED OFF so im doing it anyway. So I'll probably be dead in the morning. Death my ear ache. I'll just be lying there with the loud music on being great, and its really great loud rock music..... So I wont really care.
I hate The Darkness. If I ever meet Justin Hawkins im going to re-arange his genitalia into a small scale model of spagetti junction.
Then again, the way "he" sings, it sounds like thats already been done.
"What a poof!" - Flasheart
Ok, so im bored and rambling, we've established that.
LOOK WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST WRITE ME A GUESTBOOK MESSAGE! YOUR ALL SO VERY VERY DULL OTHERWISE!!!
I forgive Claudz though, she writes me loads. Bless her.
But you others have been warned......
Love Jennerz Your Angry God (AKA Mr Twat..... Claudz/ Monica gets it!)

Thursday, 14th of April, 2004
Again, BORED! Why is this world full of bastards?! No Jenn, try and be nice..... *attempts smile*..... nope, no point. YOUR ALL FREAKS! ("Oh, be nice!")
I don't mean it really. Im just so fucking fucked off because of all the fucking fuckers in the fucking world. I know its my fucking world, and I can kill all the fuckers that fuck me off, but that would be far to easy. Plus Im too fucked off to bother!
So now we're esablished that Im fucked off, does anyone wanna have a guess as to why?! YES! THATS RIGHT!
The usual teenagers angst lies in the "Boy Trouble" area. Bread, toast, toast bread! Damn all the yeasty products (That includes "our Favourite One....")
What AM i going on about?! Who knows. And infact, who cares. Not me, and not you. So why am I here?!?!
Erm...erm.... because I can be, THATS WHY!
Ha, wernt expecting that. Ok well, Ive done some new pages (oooo, aaaaaah!) and theyre pretty shite, but you're all gonna look at em coz if you don't I'll have to hurt you (oo-err). The new pages are:
"Mark Lamarr"
"Cheese"
"Holidays"
And whatever other ones are on the navigation bar that you havnt seen before.
Ooooh, did anyone see Bad Girls last night?! *Cue dramatic music*
(TM of Lauren). You just wanna kill Fenner really don't you?! Well, I do.
Hey ho people to do and things to see.... or is that the other way around? Nope, I was right the first time ;-)

Thursday, 15th of Arpil 2004
"I said BRICK...... Not PENIS!" - The Richie

Friday, 16th of April 2004
Everytime Im in town and I see a phonebox with the SHAUN OF THE DEAD poster on it, I shout "SIMON PEGG! FUCKIN' YES!"
Simon Pegg is so cool! He was in Guest House Paradiso with Rik and Ade, so hes deffo a dude! I used to just think he was cool, but on Wednesday I saw Shaun Of The Dead, and I began to think.....
How bloody gorgeous is Simon Pegg!!!! I hang my head in shame!
And also, on that note, Dylan Moran (Bernard from Black Books) looks fucking fine in that film too! He wears glasses and doesn't play a raging alcoholic, so we see him in a new light. And DING DONG! I think I might make a Shaun page. or at least a page with a pic of Simon Pegg on it....mmmmmmmm......

Sunday, 18th of April, 2004
And on the seventh day.....
I did that Shaun Of The Dead page. This just proves how boring these holidays have been. They've been pretty shit actually. No ones really been online to talk to, Ive had to stay indoors most of the time to hide out from certain people. And Doms been away all week, and Ive not seen lib that much either. So ive been confined to sheer boredom!!!!
Oh, and whats the point in weed? Someone answer me this?! Jennerz Your God will not tolerate it. its not like my lil vodka frenzy. No this is worse. im not the one doing the weed by the way, im not THAT braindead. I can't prove when people do it, but Im pretty sure ive got a good idea......

I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things, that you would probably hide
Am I your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe, or am I the reason you cry
I love you, I hate you, I cant get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this lack of solitude
I guess that im out the door, now that Im done with you.

"Fine words for a Bishop!" quote from Blackadder. I love this lyric at the moment, from "Always" by Saliva. Kinda relevant, huh! I just think its cool.

Thursday, 22nd of April, 2004
Life is shit, and life is wank..... But I strangled Brad 'coz Iiii hate him!
Fuck the world and all the fuckers in it. Im pissed off coz im back at Stalag 14 (AKA School) and its wank (as you can imagine).
But Dom started a new organisation today. Its called "DickWenchs" and theres a special creed, a sullute and everything, how COOL is that..... erm.... Bless Dom, she rules.
Dunno why im writting on here maybe im just bored.