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PANTS

 

Bottom Live 4, An Arse Oddity. This is when we first see and hear "PANTS", by Rik and Ade. And I must say, its been a favourite song of mine ever since! Even though I am biased, because I love them so, its still great! Ade plays guitar, Rik dances. Its just a masterpiece! It is also shown in Bottom Live 5: Weapons Grade Y-Fronts Tour. This is the script from Live 4 (In italics, these represent actions on stage)

________________________________________________

Spoken

 

R) Weeeeeeeeeeeell. Just listen to us, ladies and gentlemen!

E) Weeeee! Are gonna mess with your minds!

R) But fiiiirst! Weeeeee are gonna mess with yoooour! PANTS!

 

 Music starts

 

E) Common take your pants off! Take off your clothes! Pants, pants pants!

Both) Common, everything goes!

 

B) Take off your trousers, we wanna see your pantyhoes!

 

E) Common take your pants off!

B) Don't be a prude!

R) YEAH!

E) Pants, pants pants!

B) Get all nude!

 

B) Our slimy buttocks, we were born to be rude!

R) Eeeha!

 

E) TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!

This is a demand! Just ease your thumbs inside the edge of your waistband!

Pull down hard and join us in Pants Wonderland!

 

Sparkling silver electric guitar decends from the ceiling

 

R) Pants, pants, pants, pants! Im talkin' about paaaants!

Not just any paaaants! Im talkin' about pants!

Yeah! Pants! Pants! Paaaants! Pants!

I cant, I cant! AAAAARGH!

 

E) Starts notes on electric guitar which decedned from the celing, and starts wagging his tounge

R) Dances around, then starts worshipping Eddie on his knees, then backs up against the wall, then stuffs his hand down his PAAAANTS!

 

CLIMAX, EXPLOSION!

 Spoken

 

R) its an absolute disaster!

E) I have not seen a single minge!

R) Ive been in Nottingham all day and the only twat I got near to was you!

E) If you wont get hold of you pants, we want you to get hold of your coats, and just FUCK OFF OUT OF IT!

R) Fuck off home!

 

Music starts up again

 

E) Go on fuck off you wankers!

    Go on fuck off home!

    FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

    FUCK FUCKETY FUUUCK!

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

R) We really mean it, man!

 

More guitar from Eddie, more dancing from Richie

Exposions from end of the guitar

 

B) WE WANT YOU TO HEAR US SAAAAAAY!

FUUUUCK! OFF! FUUUUCK! OFF! FUUUCK...FUCK..... OOOOFF!!!

 

Climax, explosion from guitar head

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