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Dares
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Dares

 

Here are some dares, based on Rik and Ade. Ive tried some of them out, and trust me, its so much fun!

 

Bottom Dares:

 

- Go into a sex shop and say "This is a sex shop isn't it? Right, well I'll have five quids worth then!"

 

- Go up to a stranger of the opersite sex and say "Have me... Im a love albatross!"

 

- Go into a small shop with a mate and shout "We are men/women/people of science!"

 

- Play chess using only five original chess pieces.

 

- Go into a public park and start trying to entice some hedghogs out from under a bush by throwing Hob-Nobs and saying "mrs Tiggywinkle... yum-yum!"

 

- Make some vodka margerine, smear it on a christmas pudding and scare your friends! (Be bloody careful though kiddies)

 

- Go into a bar and start making "sexy faces" at the person you like. Then say to them "Im a minky musky sly old stoaty stoat! I seek a pig!" (Always keep your mouth open when insulting a lady!)

 

- Go around a public place warning people about the Womble Breakout. "Theyve gone X-Rated and they'll attack you looking for Hob nobs!"

 

- Get a torch. Go hunting for your breakfast around a street saying "breakfast, where are you breakfast" and ask strangers if they've seen your "Sunday Fish-Fingers".

 

- Go into a video-shop, ask if they have "The Furry Hunny Pot Adventure", and ask how dirty it is.

 

- Go into a corner shop, stand next to an elderly person and pretend your holding a phone. Pretend your talking to the police, and complain about "Little Johnny Cartwright from the flats" and shout "BULLSHIT! BUUULLSHIT!" loudly, and run out.

 

- Go to Church and stare at the ceilieng. Say "Morning Your Lordship. Yes, plenty of gravy-mix, I'll just stick it on the slate" and wink.

 

- Sit at a bus stop reading a newspaper. Turn to a stranger and say "Bloody Nora! Neil Kinocks grandparents were homosexual martians! He kept quiet about that, didn't he! Good job I read that, I was gonna vote Labour!"

 

- When you're walking past a building site/ wall say to a friend "Dont touch that brick.... I said BRICK! Not PENIS!" (it would be better if they wernt in on it)

 

- Put a mop-top on your head and shout "oh, oh! Why won't anybody ever have it off with me! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM A BIG FAT UGLY BASTARD WITH A MICROSCOPIC PENIS!" (Mainly for the blokes)

 

- Start "hunting" wearing nothing but pages of a newspaper tucked into your underwear, Don't forget the "red indian noises"!

 

- (mainly for blokes) Find two (or more) girls and act like theyre lesbians. Re-create Richies spech about "having the same ideas as you have". Make sure its loud and in a public place!

 

- Blow off in a phone booth, and then run away!

 

- Make sprouts mexicane, and offer it to a mate. See if they dare to eat it. If not, eat it yourself.

 

- Stick razor blades into an apple and leave it in a friends fruitbowl. safty or none safty?

 

- Watch a whole episode of Emmerdale and just swear at the extras. if this could be done in a public TV shop, this would be even better.

 

- Bet a fat person that the fire escape won't hold their weight.

 

- pretend that you have been involved in "a super-glue incident" and act like your mouth has been glued up. "mmm hmmm mmmummm mmm!". Try it for a whole day and see how many people you can annoy

 

- Walk as though your drunk/ youve just had your legs sewn back on. Stagger around saying "The wind is against me!"

 

- Get a mate to shove a whoopee cusion down their trousers. When they sit down in a public place and it sounds like they've farted, shout "So you had the egg!?!"

 

- Stand on one side of the street. Pretend your watching somone (or something) with a pair of invisable binoculars. Say "Im just pretending to have binoculars to look cool and French!"

 

- At halloween, ask the trick-or-treating kids at the door "What kind of set-up is this, i cant give you sweets, i'll get arrested! Wheres the camera..."

 

- Get a camera. Get a mate. Get the mate to hold the camera at the bottom of some steps in a public place. Walk down them and make your own Prime Time Current Affairs discusion programme, based on "Should Traffic Wardens Be Armed".

 

- Buy a few carrots. Draw faces on them and sneak them into green-grocers in the carrot crates. Stand back and wait for someone to come in and buy them.

 

- When someone comes to the front door, stand next to it and shout "DONT GO, YOU'LL LIKE ME!" and when you answer it shout "Welcome one and welcome all!". If its someone you dont know, say "Who on earth are you?!"

 

- Drink out of a saucepan.

 

- try and raise the devil with the help of dressing gowns, a pencil-tangle and showing the dedication to his call buy eating The Sprouts Of Evil (or just regular sproats, theyre bad enough!)

 

Dares from other great stuff!

 

- Go up to a man with long hair (or just a woman if you can't find a bloke) and say "Shut up Neil, I hate you!" (and run off!)

 

- Go up to a woman in Tescos (Or a supermarket) and say "excuse me, are you Noel Gordon?!"

 

- Keep throwing yourself into a wall (gently though) and keep shouting "THROUGH THE BRICK WAAAALL!!"

 

- Ask if they sell Viagra in a supermarket (It might be best for it not to be your local, as they may remember you)

 

- Stand on a chair in your garden (or street) and pretend to be a hotel ("Going up")

 

- Go absolutly anywhere. Find any object, and investigate it by asking questions to strangers and making notes in a book. If you've got an anorak, wear that!

 

- Pretend that your a milkman. Have a limp, a cockney accent and hobble about shouting "EE-BY-GUM!"

 

- Ask a stranger if ants go to discos.

 

- Play cricket, and get a mate (or someone you don't like) to be the stumps.

 

- Pretend that your and mate are the Dangerous Brothers and recreate your favourite sketch. Where weapons are concerned, just pretend to hit each other instead.

 

- Get an accent like Ade in "Five Go Mad In Dorset" (very very posh) and do some of the best quotes, such as "Oh, rath-er!", "Thats wizard!", "Something very queer is going on" and "I quite like you!"