Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Bottom Frenzy
Cliff Richard - Living Doll
Home
News
Bottom Frenzy
The Young Ones
Filthy, Rich and Catflap
Dangerous Brothers
Bottom
Factfiles
Bottom Fluff
Interviews
Lyrics
Dares
Guestbook
A - Z
Scripts
Comedy Farce
Small World
Top Five

Cliff
                           Richard and The Young Ones
-Living Doll (a bit of the script)
It goes something like this....
*EXPLOSION*
 Neil:     
                           "Look out everyone, he's coming through the doors."
 Vyv:      
                           "BRILLIANT ! He didn't even open them...."
 Neil:     
                           "He's here !!!!"
 Mike:      "Quick Rick, do the
                           speech."
            *Music
                           starts* (Video - the Young Ones walking down a street,
           
                           Rick pointing at the camera)
 Rick:      "Hey
                           kids, stop snogging and pay attention to me. 'Cos if
           
                           you're a wild-eyed loner standing at the gates of Oblivion,
           
                           hitch a ride with us. 'Cos we're on the last freedom moped out
           
                           of Nowhere City, and we haven't even told our parents what
           
                           time we'll be back ! So put on your dancing trousers, and get
           
                           down to the utter King of Rock and Roll, CLIFF RICHARD !!!"
           
                           (jumps in the air)
 Cliff:     Got myself a crying, talking,
                           sleeping, walking, living doll.
 (singing)  Got to do my best to please her just 'cos
                           she's a livin' doll.
           
                           Got a roving eye and that is why she satisfies my soul,
           
                           I've got the one and only walking talking livin' doll.
 
           
                           OK guys, ready Vyv?
 Vyv:       Completely ready
                           when you are, Shaky!
 Cliff:     Neil?
 Neil:      Does anybody know where the toilets are?
 Cliff:     Mike?
 Mike:      Hey,
                           does all this money really have to go to charity?
 Mike:     
                           Yes it does, Michael! Hi Cliff, it's me !
 Cliff:    
                           Who are you?
 Rik:       Huh he, great
                           joke, Your Majesty!
 
 Cliff:     (singing) "Got myself a
                           crying, talking, sleeping, walking
           
                           living doll"
 Young
 Ones:      (singing rather badly)
                           "Living doll"
 
 Cliff:     "Got to do my best to please
                           her, just 'cos she's a living
           
                           doll"
 Young
 Ones:      "Living
                           doll"
 Cliff:     Got a roving eye and that is why
                           she satisfies my soul
 Young
 Ones:      "'Fies my soul!
 Vyv:       Fies my soul ?!
 Rik:      
                           Yes Vyvyan, it's raunchy!
 Mike:      Shut up guys!
 
 All:       (singing) I've got the one and only walking talking living
            doll!
 Rick:      OK daddy-io! Lay the next funky riff on me!
 Mike:      He means, "What happens now?" Cliff.
 Cliff:    
                           The instrumental break.
           
                           (twangy guitars)
           
                           "Great, which instruments do you want us to break?"
           
                           "Guitar" (sound of guitar played very badly, followed by
 Vyv:      
                           smashing noises)
           
                           "Piano" (same again)
           
                           "Violin" (blah blah)
           
                           "Didgeridoo"
 Rick:      "Vyvian's trousers"
                           (ripping noises)
 Vyv:       "Rick's head"
                           *thud*
 Neil:      "Yeah! Ah, ah, Neil's head!"
                           *thud*
 Vyv:       Hey! Cliff's head!
 All:       "No! No! NO!"
 Rick:     
                           (singing)Oh take a look at her hair, it's real.
 Neil:     
                           If you don't believe what I say ...
 Mike:      ...
                           just feel!
 Rick:      Fwooaaarggh!
 Vyv:       (loudly) GONNA LOCK HER UP IN A TRUNK!
 Mike:      So no big hunk ...
 Cliff:    
                           ... can steal her away from me.
           
                           (more twangy guitars)
 
 Rick:      "I still think locking
                           girls up in a trunk is politically
           
                           unsound."
 Mike:      "It's only a song,
                           Rick."
 Neil:      "Well, I feel sorry for the
                           elephants."
 Cliff:     Got myself a ...
 Neil:      ... crying ...
 Vyv:      
                           ... talking ...
 Mike:      ... sleeping ...
 Rick:      ... walking ...
 Young
 Ones:      ... livin' doll!
 
 Cliff:    
                           Livin' doll. Got to do my best to please her just cause she's
           
                           a livin' doll.
 Young
 Ones:      Livin' doll!
 Cliff:     OK guys, harmony now.
 Young     
                           (very unharmonious) Got a rovin' eye and that is why she
 Ones:     
                           satisfies my soul
 Cliff:     'Fies my soul.
 All:       I've got the one and only walking talking livin' doll!
 Rick:      Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooooooh!
 Cliff:    
                           I've got the one and only walking talking livin' doll!
           
                           (flourish, end of guitar riff)
 Cliff:     Erm...
                           can I go now?
 Rick:      Er, yeah, thanks,
                           Cliff, bye!
            (Vyv
                           hits Cliff with a club, Cliff falls to floor)
 
 Rick:     
                           "Right kids, if you don't buy this record, you're an utter
           
                           utter utter utter utter ..."
 
(Meanwhile Vyv knocks out Mike and Neil, then Rick ('utter
ut-*thwack*-ter...'). He then
                           looks around the room, looks at the camera,
smiles, shrugs, and then knocks himself out. The picture reverts to snow,
and on the record there seems
                           to be a scratch.)
 
.... This is as far as I could manage to scrape together, sorry. Hope it gave you a nice little
                           taster though!
(Thanks to FAQ.org)