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A bit about Richie and Eddie. They really are the guys, aren't they!

NAME Sir Richard Richard

NICKNAME Richie, Slippery Richie the Hammersmith Houdini, The Crumpet Radar, Tinkerbollocks

AGE Thats a bit personal, isnt it?

WEIGHT Not fat so much as chucky.

LOCATION Well I spend most of my time in the flat, which is in Hammersmith.

BEST FRIEND Lets just avoid that line of questioning shall we.

FLATMATE Bloody Eddie. And he still owes me rent! He says he'll pay me in gold teeth, but I know where he'll get the gold teeth from! My jaw is still out of place since Taffy O' BASTARD had a go at it with his sling-shot.

OTHER HALF Well yes, I do normally have to get the drinks in. Its the only way Eddie lets me go out with him and his great mates.

FAMILY My mum and dad, Oswald Richards. And my sister who looks just like me, but with smaller jugs. And theres Aunty Mable whos flat I live in. Oh, and theres Aunty Alger, Uncle Norman and Uncle Perigin, whos dead.

FAVOURITE DRINK Oh i'll have anything...ohh anything...diddly-do diddly do! erm.. Absenth! No wait, I went blind for days after that! Erm, I'll just have a pint of mild, and bung an umberella in it!

FAVOURITE FOOD My cookings the greatest, but nobody appriciates it. Especially my Friday Night Fryup.

FAVOURITE TV PROGRAMME Documentries on fat old women. Actually, will Eddie read this? No? Then I like Watchdog Specials on Faulty Bikinis!

LIKES Birds, jugs, birds, chess, birds, medieval folk dances.

HATES Eddie, France

OTHER INTERESTING INFORMATION Well did I ever tell you about the time my uncle drowned in the Great OogGoo River?

MESSAGE TO THE BIRDS Hello. I can't see you but I bet you all have smashing blouses on...


NAME Edward Elizabeth Hitler

NICKNAME Eddie, Chopper Hitler, Dirty Eddie, Deirdre Barlow

AGE I don't know. My last birthday got ruined by Richie.

WEIGHT Wait where?

LOCATION In the pub. Oh I see what you mean. Well I live in a flat in Hammersmith.

BEST FRIEND Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog

FLATMATE Richie, the sad virgin. I told him I'd pay the rent but he didnt want to hear anymore about it once i mentioned the gold teeth...

OTHER HALF Oh I'll have a half of mild, in a pint glass.

FAMILY Well Ive got a mother. Theres Great uncle Susan, other uncles who worked in wars and prisons, and then theres that orangutang thats great at climbing through court room windows.

FAVOURITE DRINK Now this is my kinda question! I'll drink absolutly ANYTHING! Mild, bitter, lager, sarki, sherry, brandy, bleach, pernod, Mr Sheen, brake fluid, drambui (thats mainly for the birds though) and scotch! Im not too fond of Guiness though.

FAVOURITE FOOD Pickled onion sandwhiches!

FAVOURITE TV PROGRAMME Emmerdale farm. Actually, theyve changed the name of it now havnt they? Its just called Emmerdale now.

LIKES Drink, booze and lager. Oh, and Birds!

HATES That extra in Emmerdale! LUCKY BASTARD! And Richie.

OTHER INTERESTING INFORMATION Did you know that the common nat only lives for 2 hours but in its short life it makes love over 250 times! Mirror opersite of Richies life...

MESSAGE TO THE BIRDS Hello birds! Come and get it! Have me, Im a love albatross! Yuup, that aughta do it!

Richie and Eddie - Bottom