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The Young Ones
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The Young Ones
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Identity Crisis...  Rick as Neil, Vyvyan as Mike
The Young Ones
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(Cliff Quotes) Ricks love of
Cliff Richard
My favourite Young Ones Quotes
Demolition Scripts
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Young Ones feature in Cliff Richard - Living Doll
Daily Mirror Book of Facts Did You Know...?



1) Demolition
Neil has been busy cooking tea all day but the lentils end up on the floor. Rick refuses to eat them - they're South African. Neil decides to kill himself but fails miserably. The fascists at the Town Hall are planning to demolish the house but they don't need to with Vyvyan around.

2) Oil
The guys move into their new house. Vyv discovers oil whilst playing murder in the dark. Rick and Neil are made to dig for oil but have a revolution against El Presidente Mike and Colonel Vyvyan.

3) Boring
The guys are bored, bored, bored. Nothing ever interesting ever happens to them. They fail to notice the terrorist siege, the visitation from hell, or the fairy tale characters that come to life. Neil is so bored, he even digs a grave - just in case he feels like killing himself later that afternoon.

4) Bomb
A bright red bomb drops through the roof one morning. Mike tries to sell the bomb to the highest bidder, while Rick attempts to blackmail the Prime Minister.
Neil paints himself white and hides under the table. Vyvyan is frustrated - he can't make it go off. But then Rick comes along, and accidentally leans on it...

5) Interesting
The guys decide to throw a party, but they need to clean the place up a bit first. Vyvyans "improved" the vacuum cleaner, however, and promptly sucks up all the
floorboards in the drawing room. And a man walking past outside. Neil gets seriously high thanks to a friend.

6) Flood
As London floods, the guys are busy playing hide-and-seek. Jerzei Balowski drinks Vyvyans potion, which is intended to cure people who are not an axe-wielding homicidal maniac, into being one. SPG gets thrown out to the sharks, whilst Vyv builds a submarine. Luckily for the lads there's a lion tamer in Mikes bedroom and Jerzei wanders in.


1) Bambi
Neil reveals they have been chosen to go on university challenge, after a bad time at the laundrette. The lads are losing badly until Vyv destroys the other team. Rick switches the questions for ones out of the Daily Mirror Book of Facts. But cheating doesn't pay - they come to a sticky end.

2) Cash
Strange things are happening in the house. Plates are disappearing. Neil suspects a poltergeist. Vyvyan becomes pregnant, and Neil has to get a job as a policeman to support him.

3) Nasty
Mike is loaned a video from Harry the Bastard, but the guys can't figure out how to make it work. Rick's cross-dressing tendencies are revealed, and a vampire
from the Transvaal turns up in the post. Who turns out to be Harry the Bastard demanding his five hundred quid.

4) Time
Rick thinks he isn't a virgin anymore, after waking up with a chick in his bed from the party the night before. After bragging about his exploits to the guys, the truth is revealed when the chick (who is really an escaped homicidal maniac) comes downstairs. Oh, and the house goes through a time warp into the middle Ages.

5) Sick
The guys are ill which is not a pretty site. Neil gets bad sneezes and has to wear Ricks laundry sack over his head, and Vyv hammers in six inch nails instead f the usual needles. An escaped madman takes them all hostage, but then things get really bad - they find out Neil's parents are coming round to tea. Rick murders Neil but it turns out aright in the end. Its just like a negative reality inversion!

6) Holiday
School's out for summer! Rick is devastated when he learns his parents are dead. He was going to go and stay with them but now he has to put up with Vyv, Mike and Neil. They are also evicted from their flat and end up destitute. Mike decides to rob and bank and they escape in a big, red bus. But their joy is short lived: 'look out, Cliff!'